I think the time is almost ripe for the launch of my airport kiosk service Handy Religious Travelers' Conversion (HeReTiC - as in "I've gotta hit Starbucks and Heretic on the way"). The person running the kiosk will be an ordained/consecrated/annointed priest/rabbi/shaman of every religion on Earth and versed in performing the necessary rites to convert a person of any religion (or no religion) to any other religion in 15 minutes or less. Fees vary depending on complexity and materials consumed during the ceremony. Thus HRTC will allow travelers to fly to their destination country as a member of the safe and dominant religion at the destination and convert back when they return. "Round-trip" conversions will be discounted. Bundle discount for second religion in the case of countries where the strife is so great it's not clear which you should pick. Abrahamic religion and Christian faith bundle discounts available. Orthodoxy certifications are a small additional fee. For additional cost "Outside-Inside" conversions are possible, so you convert, pass through security as one faith, then convert again inside the secure zone - this helps avoid nasty profiling problems. Some conversions may require purchase of self-study materials in advance. Each customer will be issued a laminated religion i.d. card that fits conveniently in your passport. However, due to global hypocrisy, we cannot guarantee the customer will escape persecution. We do offer life insurance through a sister company. Various religious jewelry, garments, and icons are available at the kiosk for purchase or rental. Thank you for using HRTC and have a safe flight.
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